9. New game

Fred hadn’t come home that night and when I woke up I needed a little while to realize why I felt miserable. Fed the dogs and we had breakfast. George was concerned of Fred, but afraid to leave me on my own. When he hadn’t gotten home by noon George sent letter to his brother and sister and to his mom. While I thought all day long, not talking to much, Fred was mad at everyone for not giving him the same space they gave me. “you might not realize, but this IS rather hard for me!” He screamed at Hermione when she’d told him he should support me: “I always supported her” he said: “always loved her and now I’m losing her. How am I suppose to support that?” When no-one was able to give him an answer he left the cafeteria. Everyone thought he’d come home, but when they received George’s letter, they got worried and gathered. Leaving George and me out of this. But George knew me well and decided to tell me Fred was missing. I was close to falling to the floor, it was all to much, I realized how Fred felt, but I also knew how I did. “Where would he be?” George looked into my eyes, knowing we both thought the same. We aparated to my house at the lake and carefully entered the house, indeed finding Fred in the coach, staring outside. “Fred?” he looked up and then stared outside again. I sat beside him and said: “Fred..” But he interrupted: “I f he comes he’ll come here, right?” I looked at him, surprised, “he should know where to go.” I was flabbergasted, this guy just kept on being great. I threw my arms around him. “Oh Fred! I love you!” he threw his arms round me, held me tight and shook his head: “no you don’t” he whispered. I sighed. “I do Fred, I do”
“you just love him more.” I looked him in his eyes, it wouldn’t be fair to lie so I slowly nodded. He sighed. “Fred…” I looked at me. “I have absolutely no intensions to hurt you.” He nodded “I know”
“let’s go home” he once again nodded. When we got there George sent letters again and Fred decided to do the shop. Not knowing what to do at all, confused and desperate I wandered round the house. I kept the pain inside and didn’t cry, not wanting to hurt Fred, but I was so afraid. Afraid that what Dumbledore had told us indeed was true, at same time I was happy that there was hope for Draco to be alive…my feelings were twisting and turning, but I refused to break again and sent a letter to Dumbledore.


Dear Albus,
I might have reacted a little strange last time, but I think no else then you’d expected. I’m sure I believe you, but I find it difficult to indeed accept, this is where unbelief is born…Fear. I’m afraid and yet I have so many questions…Questions of how it will all go, but also What will he look like, will he be still be the same, will he search for me or be mad at me? For being with Fred, for betraying him and killing him. Will he be seventeen or twenty-seven….It’s so confusing. None the less I’d like to thank you, Albus. For warning me of what might possibly come.
Joan

A few silent days in which the twins or I barely spoke passed and then he answered.

Dear Joan,
I indeed expected a reaction, similar to the one you gave. I understand the difficulties and questions, Joan. But I’m afraid my knowledge stops right there where you have your questions. The only thing I can assure you is that Draco has been transforming into his own self the past five years. Which means he should be about twenty two and he should look like he used to, only a little older.
Something also expected, but maybe not that badly is your friends reaction, Joan. Fred has supported you as long as you know him, he must have loved you just as long. I can’t imagine any guy sacrificing what he has for a woman. He has lived with the thought he was no more then second choice of a dead boy, whom you still love. Him coming back, as you will know wont only be hard on you or Draco, but maybe even more on Fred.
Greetings Albus.

I didn’t know whether I was happy or disappointed in his letter, but I knew it was practice that evening. So when the three of us left to the stadium, Dumbledores words tolled round my head. I grabbed Freds arm and he smiled at me, but he wasn’t happy.
The practice was, in spite of all actually rather good. After we showered and dressed we all went to the cafeteria, where Dumbledore said: “He’ll search, Joan. And he’ll find. Sooner then we did.” I looked up at him. “you’ve been in the news way to many times.” I swallowed and nodded. “I wasn’t planning on hiding me away from him, Albus.”
He smiled: “and if you were, something was seriously wrong with you.” I raised my eyebrows. Krum came inside. “Ok” he said. “I know everyone has probably forgotten about it, for good reason. But we can’t postpone. In exactly 5days the stadium has it official opening, which means we’ll play against some low ranked team. But we still need to work us up till first class.” Everyone clearly had forgotten about it and it was silent for a while. “low ranked or not, it’s our first game, we need to show the world we’re as good as we ever were. Tomorrow, practice” I said. Everyone looked up in surprise.
“What?”
“well” Hermione said, because no-one else dared: “it’s just a little weird with these circumstances, that..”
“you all have know idea under which circumstances I’ve given practice do you? Under which circumstances I’ve played…”
“no we don’t mean..”
“I’m not asking, Ginny, I’m telling you. Just have a little faith for now, until I’ve gotten a real chance to prove, I’m the right person to do this.” Everyone sat there, a little astonished and then Ned, unable to hide his happiness, screamed: “yessah! If there’s anyone able to do it, it is Joan, I have faith girl!”
“You always had, you dumb twit” George said. Everyone looked at George now. “What? Seriously, he always had! And so did we all!” I smiled “thanks George. Tomorrow, seven o’clock” I said and looked at the twins, who got up and we went back home.
“are you sure about this, Joan?”
“If it all happens it doe, Fred. Nothing much to change about it..”
“yes, but”
“I’ll take what come my way, I’ll decide the very moment and think, live from second to second now, or I die in worrying, ok?” he nodded. “I’m sorry, ok” I whispered and I kissed him. He threw his arms round me and kissed me back.

The next morning I clamped myself to Fred all day. We just spent the entire day together. After dinner we sat in the couch, my arm and head on his chest and his chin on my head.
“Joan?”
“hmm?”
“I love you” I swallowed and looked up at him. Looked deep into his hazel eyes and said. “I love you too, Fred.” And I kissed him, not knowing how this would all go.
A little later we left for practice, it went well and I order everyone to get a good night of sleep and come back the day afterwards. Like this three more days passed and the last day I decided they good use some sleep and didn’t give practice. I barely slept that night. Knowing the day afterwards was well announced by the media.

The next morning was awake early to I turned around and nested myself in to Freds arms. Fred was still a sleep, but I knew he as well had been up rather long the day before, afraid for today. Fred woke a bit later, but there were no words needed, to realize we both didn’t feel like getting up. George would still be a sleep anyway. And so we stayed in bed for a long while, not talking, just thinking.
Hours later we went downstairs. George looked at us, a little tensioned. We had breakfast, but all three nearly ate. A little later we left to the stadium of ‘Dracon Flights’. The other where already waiting for us. All in outfit, Krum had arranged some people to work in the cafeteria and in the pitch. Everyone looked nervous and though I was more then most of them, I had to be the one talking them into the match.
“Alright this is our first match as the Dracon flights and ‘Dracon Flights’ has shown some real meaning, so we’re forced to do the same and prove ourselves today. No matter who me might see, or are afraid to see…Today we are in an important came, this is the start of Draco Flights, this is how we will go into history and I want it to be a nice start, more then that, I want it to be a fantastic start, a start worthy to its players. I want you all, to not look in the audience and think only of the game, cause we sure are ready for this! Alright? If you think you can’t do it, please tell me now.” Everyone held his mouth shut and Fred looked at me, I knew what he meant, he doubted himself. “you’ll be fine” I assured him a little later, he looked close to crying and I felt miserable. But I knew we’d have to do this, we cold back off, people from over the entire world would be coming, curious. A bit later Krum told us he’d welcomed the other team and that they were heading to the dress rooms. “soon the audience will enter too.”
I nodded “let’s go guys, we need to warm up. We just gave some passes and most of them were ready, as I had old them they were. I only had doubts for Fred, George and myself. We went to the dress rooms and Krum looked excited when he left us, to give the people permission to enter the stadium. “good luck” Lee said and he went to his post Hermione whished us luck to. She walked with Lee, the kids were in school and to young to come to a big match. She said, we all knew why they really couldn’t come. Molly, Arthur and my dad, would soon accompany her. As would Snape and Dumbledore. “Ok guys” I said. “we’re all tensioned, with more then just the game…that’s not the way we do things….This is the first time we’ll play a real match again in ten or nine, eight for some of you, years! We should be lost in nerves and excitement! Not worrying whether he’ll turn up or not. God! We’ve played when you guys were all mad at me for heavens sake! In the court it all needs to be gone, people. Today I need my Gryffindor mates, the ones that are able to blast everyone off his socks in there! And I pointed in the direction of the pitch. Every single soul in there should be convinced that this team is the best team that ever existed, cause hell we can be! And if Draco turns up, people should be astonished, but more from our- at this point I pointed at each one of them and then at me- Victory, then his rise from death! It’s a minor detail everyone will deal with later! Can you give me those Gryffindor mates?
“hell girl! If you talk like that again, you can get more then that!” Harry answered.
“does everyone agree on that?” They all nodded a bit and Ned was the only one saying “yes”
“Ok….I saiaid, can you give me those Gryffindor mates I need?” they all looked at me, not understanding. “well?” I shouted and smiles appeared on their faces, because of the determination and will on my face. “yeah!”
“what?!”
“yeah!” they all shouted. “sorry?”
They all stood up and began shouting, hitting walls and stamping their feet. In the audience only a handful of people understood the real meaning of this.
“alright” I said, “let’s play this!” I smiled. The excitement was on their faces, everyone, nobody, including myself seemed to doubt anymore. It was as simple as hell, we’d win this match and then start worrying about other stuff we nearly forget no. “Let’s live for the moment, for once” I thought. And thereby I turned around and pushed open the heavy doors that separated the dress room from the pitch. My long Quidditch outfit waved round my legs as the doors slowly opened, with a final push the door clapped open. The audience was silent, surprised because of the rather strange entrance, recognizing my as the captain of the team, not only by my face, but also by my clothing. My team speeded into the pitch above me. They flew round the pitch, while I got on my broom. I pushed and rose quickly, I flew to middle of the pitch and my team stopped behind me. Without looking at any faces I smiled playfully at the audience. The other team entered the pitch and flew round the pitch then their captain stopped before me, with his tem behind me and I decided to go even a little further, for the team. As their entrance song sounded. It was a rather joyful one and I let go of my broom, without losing any height and ‘danced to the song moving my arms beside my body, bended in a ninety degrees angle. Only for a few second, but it was enough to make my team laugh. “good luck” I said to the captain, while shaking his hand.” He nodded and I raised me eyebrows, not getting a “you too”
The balls were up and Ned had caught it. Harry and a dark haired girl rose high. Fred hit a bludger away from Ginny, who passed the Quaffle to me. George now protected me from the other bludger. And I threw the Quaffle to the goals, with a speed that surprised even myself. My own pep talk had done me good, I realized and I laughed when Lee’s voice sounded trough the audience rather loudly. “Joan scores!!!!!!!!!!!! 10-0 for Dracon Flights, You have to admit, people, liking or not, they look awesome!”
The match was jus to easy, they didn’t score once and we were so full of strength we could just give them their dignity, “What if their seeker catches the snitch?” My excuse was later on “We didn’t want to lose!” But Harry caught it and by and ending of 340-0 Lee yelled how we smashed our contestants, how we humiliated them. I give a short interview and then followed to the dress room. When we got to the cafeteria, I was really full of people and we got congratulated a lot. About an hour later most of them had left. And another hour later Krum kicked out the rest. Apart from Dumbledore, Snape, Molly, Arthur, Lee, Hermione and my dad. “guys” he said: “that..was amazing!” I nodded “it was.”
“Joan” I nodded “there’s still someone in the bathroom?”
“uhh..well” I nodded once again and sighed. I got really scared now.
“Maybe you should go there?”
“no”
“..”
I sighed again “or yes, I don’t know”
“I think” Dumbledore said. “he’s doubting to….”
“…”
“You guys looked well great, undefeatable, happy”
I nodded “fine” I said, but waited a little longer and then got up, staring at the little room’s door. Sighing again. Fred putted his hand on my shoulder and I putted my hand on his. I swallowed. “want to come.”
“no” he said, with a voice so weak it drew my attention. I searched his face and he shrugged. “go” I wanted to kiss him, but some how couldn’t. He pulled his hand away and I felt torn, but then walk to the colored door in the back. I never realized how big the cafeteria was, but then it seemed ever bigger, trying to control my speed, knowing people were looking. When finally reaching it, I put my hand on the doorknob. Hesitating, refusing to look back I pushed it down and opened the door. I closed it behind me and needed a moment before I could finally get a sound out of my troth. “hello? Anyone still in here?” I startled when the door closest to me opened and a tall blonde guy stepped out.