5. Back to the dungeons

Back to the dungeons

As I woke up the next morning I was happy, but it took me a second to realize why that was. As soon as I remembered the evening before I got a bit scared of it, what the hell would we do now? Why the hell did he do this to me? Did he just trick me? He said he loved me... “Morning” Hermione’s voice sounded. I startled. “Hi”, I answered. “How did you bring it of last night?”
“Pretty well, we had to clean the small room in the back of his office.”
“Oh”
“What?”
“O c’mon, I know we didn’t say anything, but Malfoy backed up for you, there has got to be a reason to that!”
I looked at her, she could see unbelief in my eyes, but also that I felt pretty caught.
“I’ve been watching you guys” she said.
“What?”
“Yeah after you said he was quiet nice, I began to notice you were right. Now I wonder why that is...”
“I don’t know”, I said shrugging, actually being pretty honest. Hermione didn’t seem to believe me but left it alone. I was glad it was weekend, so Malfoy and I could avoid each other easily.

Monday I only had classes with Fred, George and Lee. They were rather calm; I suspected they didn’t sleep a lot that night. But the day was nice and Hermione didn’t confront me anymore about Malfoy. The day after woods however we had potions in the afternoon, but defence against the dark arts the first hour. I was scared to confront Malfoy but also for Hermione’s detective work.
A little later I went inside with Ron, Hermione and Harry. Slytherins were late again, I was thankful for that. When they got in I looked outside the window, pretending to be dreaming. I managed to avoid Malfoy the entire hour and when I got at the corridor, Fred stood there smiling at me. So before Malfoy, who was coming my direction could say anything, Fred swung his arm around my shoulders and said:” C’mon a bit of a happier face please, I just gave you the honour of coming get you!” I smiled at him,” thanks Fred”
“No problem, for you that’s all gladly done, you know that.” he answered. And with his arm still around my shoulders we walked to transfusions.
After having lunch we returned to the common room. “You should have seen Malfoy’s face, when Fred came to pick you up” Hermione whispered in my ear. I looked at her. “He didn’t like it that’s for sure” she said with a bit of a giggle.
“Oh Hermione”
“No I’m serious, imagine! Malfoy in love with you” she laughed. “What would his dad say of that? I mean you’re a Gryffindor!”
“What are you guys doing?” Ron asked.
“I want to see what we’ll be learning in the future” Hermione responded, saving us both. I was glad he got suspicious and unconsciously ended our conversation. We went on to the common room.

First class after lunch was potions. I really didn’t feel like it, there was absolutely no chance I could escape from Malfoy now and Hermione would be watching more then else. “Djees, Joan! I know potions isn’t any fun with Snape and all, but you look like you’re going to die!” Ron said, with Harry looking at me from behind him. Hermione looked at me with a sort of satisfied smile. This time the Slytherins were at class first, which wouldn’t make it easier. Luckily they didn’t go inside yet, so that I got to our desk first anyhow. I looked at Hermione, when suddenly a “Hi” came from behind me. I turned around and looked right into Malfoy’s grey eyes. “Hi”, I stumbled back.
“I think we need to talk” he continued. I looked in his eyes for a second again, then turned my eyes down as I answered: “yeah, I guess so. But when and where were you planning on doing so?”
He just smiled. “An other detention?” He asked.
“Hmm don’t think so”
“Thought so”
“Miss Dhanes and Mister Malfoy, would you mind shutting up while I’m talking? Oh besides the both of you need to come back to my office tonight if you don’t mind.”
“What, why?” I asked. Malfoy didn’t back up this time, he just looked at Snape as if he’d just told him he had go in the dark forest for a whole night.”
“Because, Miss Dhanes, the both of you didn’t finished your work last time.”
My mouth as well as the one of Malfoy fell open, both looking at him filled whit unbelief. “Now continue with your potion or you can come tomorrow as well.” I quickly turned to the kettle, still cursing Snape in silence. “Well we least have an answer to our problem”, Malfoy grinned. But I saw he didn’t really feel like detention.

“How the hell is that possible!” Hermione yelled a bit later: “the son of a bitch”
“Who Snape or Malfoy?” Harry asked.
“Snape of course, Malfoy couldn’t help it.” Hermione answered.
“Ah well, he’s a jerk anyway, so...” Ron said.
“He has changed, he’s much nicer” I said before I realized. I was happy I could flee from their strange looks for next class.

And so I headed back to the dungeons that evening. This time I was there first. I knocked on the door and went inside. “Ahh, Miss Dhanes. Good evening.”
“Good evening professor.” I replied. He smirked at me: “I guess Draco should be here any minute now, you can start already.” I nodded my head and went to the little room in the back. Behind me I heard the door opening and closing again. “Good evening, Draco”
“Evening professor” the answer came. And with that I suddenly realized I had never listened to his voice before, it sounded a bit bitter now, but I couldn’t blame him. He came in the room, “hi Dhanes, hope you’ve started already” he said mean. I was rather shocked, but immediately got what he was doing, or at least thought so. “I’m not your house-elf Malfoy, you can do as much as me.”I answered.
“Now now a bit nice to each other please”, Snape said. “I have to go to the headmaster for a second, I trust that you’ll behave and not kill each other.”
“Yes professor”, we both said and then went back to the closet. The door fell. “Good” Malfoy said, he turned to me and came in my direction, until he was standing I front of me. I stood with my back against the wall and looked him in the eyes. “Uhm, Malfoy...I mean …Draco?” I started, but he cut me off. “shht” he said and laid his finger on my lips. He looked deep into my eyes and slowly lowered his finger. His eyes looked down to my lips and his hand went to me neck. He pressed his soft lips against mine. So we stood there kissing…again. As soon as I realized what we were doing I pulled back. “What?” He asked.
“Draco… I don’t know whether this is the right thing to do or not.”
“What do you want?”
“How do you mean?”
“Do you want to kiss me?”
“Hum, I don’t know”
“Do you want to kiss me? Just kiss right now?”
“…Yes”
“Then why wouldn’t this be the right thing to do?”
I knew he knew what the problem was, and he could only conclude I was right. He realized this and he turned down his eyes, at which he backed off a bit.
“Say” he said silent and careful. “If I...” he stopped and looked up at me again.
“Yeah?” But then Snape came back in and we had to stop our conversation. I realized he looked at me every two minutes, but I was pretty surprised to see doubt and regret in his normally hard and brutal face.

An hour later we could leave the dungeons. We walked at the stairs and I realized: If we didn’t like each other we wouldn’t have been walking so close to each other, we wouldn’t be so sad for the silence that rested upon us. Our shoulders nearly touched and I knew I wouldn’t have to move my hand a lot to find his. I couldn’t, it wasn’t suppose to go like that, was it? I did notice he was actually extremely silent, I knew he suffered. So I moved my hand, it touched his. I didn’t look him in the eyes, in fact I just walked on and kept on staring at the stairs I was walking. I felt he did the same thing. Just looking at the stairs while walking them, but meanwhile he opened his hand to take mine in his. So we climbed the stairs, hand in hand afraid to look at each other. There was no need to talk, we understood each other well enough. Love is complicated.
After a few minutes our ways separated, I stopped walking as did Draco. We looked in each others eyes. I knew he felt the same way I did, torn, not knowing to well what to do, I looked at ours hands, which were holding each other and let my other arm climb his arm. As I pressed myself against him, our hands let go. While my hand went for his back, his went for my waist. My other hand had reached his shoulder and I laid my hand near it, letting it rest on his chest. He placed his second hand between my shoulder blades and pulled me closer against him. I released a sigh while he pressed his cheek against my head. So we stood there, torn between desire and the feeling of warmth and comfort, knowing on the other side this shouldn’t be happening. After standing like this for a while we let go off each other and gave each other a quick kiss. Then both walked to our own common rooms, both thinking of this wonderful moment, which on the other hand was the most horrible thing we ever did.