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 23. What to happen next.

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BerichtOnderwerp: 23. What to happen next.   di feb 03, 2009 7:52 pm

I woke up the next morning, in Fred’s arms and felt safe. He smiled at him and said “good morning”

“morning” it was mid-February and I felt empty, not because of the weather, but because of all the images, my memory forced me to look back at. I never missed a person more then I missed Draco now. I had been thinking of him and Snape as well. I decided I was going to the dungeons, to show him how wrong he had been. “Let’s get dressed, then we’ll go to the kitchen after breakfast. George smiled. And so we did, I followed the twins, but I didn’t know where my feet took me, they just walked. The past year and a half was flashing for my eyes. Over and over again. When were heading back to the common room, I without any warning changed course and ran to the dungeons, hearing the twins coming after me quite fast. I knocked on Snape’s door and when I got in I didn’t give him the chance to ask me why I’d come to him. “you were wrong! Wrong! See this?!” I pointed at my with tears filled eye. “he broke up! You were bloody wrong!” I repeated. And not able to talk any further because of my sniffing I only gave him words. “bastard…gone…why…”

“Joan?” Snape asked. “What exactly happened?”

“I just told you, Draco broke up with me…don’t ask why, cause I don’t know.” I immediately continued when he opened his mouth. Then something I hadn’t quite expected happened. He putted his hand on my shoulder. “I’m…I’m sorry Joan…it might be just better this way.” hearing this I wanted to say so many things, but I was to tired, to broken to fight back. The twins came into the room, looking from me to Snape, without asking any explanation, they putted their arms around me and led me back to the common room, and then straight to the dormitories. Up in there I suddenly startled, “o my god!”


“it’s practise today!” he twins looked at each other and Fred carefully asked. “You want to cancel it?”

“no, I don’t. I’ll have a hard time, but he shouldn’t destroy the rest of my life as well. To bad the others don’t know yet…”

“we could tell them now and..”

“yeah...we should”

“shall I invite them up here?” I nodded in respond and Lee went down to the common room. I sighed look at the twins and said, “I have a feeling the next weeks are going to be rough.”

“probably, but we’ll help you.” I smiled and just wanted to hug them, when Lee came in the room, so I stopped my action. Harry, Ginny, Ron and Hermione curiously came in. “Joan! Where have you been, we couldn’t..” I raised my hand and to my surprise Hermione stopped talking. “I need to tell you guys something.” I saw at their faces they realized it was a heavy load to give. “Draco…broke up with me.”


“that sun of a…”


“he didn’t!”

“..But I’ll not let him ruin everything ok? I feel terribly, but I’m not giving up Quidditch…yet” They stood there, a bit stupid so I released them saying I was tired and wanted to sleep. I slept all day and at seven Freds caring hand woke me up “Joan? It’s practise in half an hour..”

“right.” I got dressed, grabbed my broom and went to the pitch. Fred and George still at my side I asked Ginny how I looked. “ be honest, you look tired and.. sad.” she answered. I nodded in approval. “Joan” George whispered and I looked at him, he nodded towards a blond boy coming towards the pitch. I looked at my watch, I could start. I whistled and everyone got in the air, Malfoy coming later. He looked terrible, even worse then me. I ignored him as much as possible, I almost ignored him when he fell off of his broom, I would have, if I wasn’t captain. He all of the sudden just fell. I concluded the practise and accompanied by Fred, brought Malfoy to the hospital wing. “You remember Joan, when you told me we should brake up...I was so depressed, now I do it me self, it’s funny isn’t it? Hehe” he mumbled.

“must have hit the ground pretty hard.” Fred claimed. I nodded and Malfoy rambled on: “ I don’t even know why… I still lolle” he was out of conscious again. I looked at Fred, who raised an eyebrow. We left him in the wing and went for a shower. I decided that, now Hermione knew, I could go back to my old room. While walking at the stairs I saw Draco falling off of his broom again, I had this sudden flew of panic, I sure did still love him.

“Hi Joan”

“hi Hermione.”

“you ok?” I nodded and got into my bed.

The next day I even dared to go to the Great hall, Draco was still in hospital wing anyway. Thanks to the support of my friends I could smile, even laugh and I according to Ginny, looked better. I though constantly thought of Draco, what the hell was going on? I couldn’t imagine his love all of the sudden was gone. And the day before, he almost said he still loved me. After midday I suddenly realised I hadn’t looked at Mayjin that weekend and decided to take a walk with the dog, “it’s ok Fred, I’d rather go alone” I said and went outside with the dog, round the lake, when halfway I just sat down and cried. I felt so weak. I hadn’t though it for possible love could be so mean and painful. The next week in classes I was quiet and tried not to look at Draco, but my love for him still was strong and I noticed I was almost constantly looking at him. The whole week past by and I didn’t feel any better, at all. Every time I thought of him, I thought of the most loveable moments, like our first kiss, his smile, his touch, holidays… and it made me smile, but then thinking of the moment he told me it was over, I cried, over and over again. I was surprised how many tears could come out off a human body over and over again. Doesn’t it ever dry out? At the end of February, after crying everyday at least three times a day, I stopped crying, but it only made me feel worse. The sadness and sorrow was eating my bones and it couldn’t get out in the amount of tears. I had almost forgotten about Ron’s birthday, with my constantly thinking of Draco. Luckily I had Mayjin to put aside of thought once in a while and Fred was at top to. He knew exactly what to do and when to do it, he was there to listen when I needed to talk and he was there to hold me when I didn’t.

Saturday morning I opened y eyes, out of which were coming tears, but I quickly remembered myself it was Ron’s birthday. We went down to the common room, Ginny and Lee were already there, the twins just got in when we did, ”morning” all Harry kept Ron upstairs as long as possible, to be sure we were all down already, when they got down we all sung ‘Happy birthday’ and Ron was zealous. He unpacked all presents and the twins gave their as lasts. “to be expected” Ron smiled and held out the present at which we all laughed, for the first time in two weeks and a day I laughed, laughed for real.

The present:


We went down for breakfast and I held a smile on my face until I sat down. George asked Ron when he was going to wear the shirt and Ron was getting a little less happy with his present. It was a lazy day, I wondered around a bit with the twins and Lee, like we used to. I mentioned in hiding my sorrow, every day better. So I laughed at their jokes, but every laugh or smile reminded me of fun moments with Draco. I tried to tell myself it wouldn’t have worked out, but I knew it would have. It was of no importance we were in different houses.

All of the sudden a big owl landed in front of me, clearly very tired. I was shocked when I realized the owl got from America! He must be more then exhausted, I forgot the letter for a while and brought the animal to the owl wing, where he would recover for a couple of days. When I had put the owl in the wing and given him some water and food I went to the common room, to read the letter.

Hi Joan!!

Miss you! Now I’ve seen you it’s as if you just left here! I’m sad about that, so are Amy and Leyla…How are you? And how’s Quidditch?
And how are your friends? Uhm...Harry, of course omg we’re all so jealous! Haha you’re best mates with HARRY damn POTTER!!! And uhm…Ron, Hermione! Ginny (she is cute by the way, haha) uhm...Lee ow the twins, Fred and George? There cute as well! hehe Fred seems to be your new best friend...right? Ow and how’s Draco, all loving? XD hope to hear you soon this time.


I smiled reading it, at least until the last line. I grabbed a feather and ink to write an answer, I would send back a week later, using the same owl.

HI Janice!!
I miss you guys a lot as well! But I indeed have my very good friends over here as well. Quidditch is just great, still the same and my friends all are good too;) Fred indeed is my best friend, I never met someone like him. You asked how I am? And how Draco is, well, there’s a reason I didn’t immediately think of writing you…he kind of broke up with me. To be honest I feel terrible, I can’t stop thinking of him and I cry every night. His smile, smirk, gaze all pup into my head in all I do. I still very much love him. Suffering like this, I noticed Fred indeed is the greatest friend ever. He’s a great support to me! The hardest time is during Quidditch, really. But well I’ll keep up there rightJ How are you guys by the way? Greetz to ya all!
I felt tears coming up, even just writing it was tough, I never spoke off what I felt. I told Fred enough that I missed him though. That evening practise was just as always and so was Sunday. Monday however Snape asked me to stay a second. I followed him into his office. “Sit down, Joan” he said I startled of the softness in his voice, he was being kind. I sat down and so did he. He rested his chin onto his hands and stared at me. “tell me Joan, what exactly is going on here?”

“how do you..”

“you told me a couple of days ago, well you pointed me at the fact that I was wrong. Correct?”



“well? Well Draco broke up with me!”

“and that proves me wrong cause?” I was surprised of this reaction. *Laughing Draco, kiss, Draco in front of me telling me he was braking up with me. Tears, crying and more crying, Fred and George putting their arms around me*

“you’re not rejecting Joan!”

“I..I can’t”

“see! They’ve made you weak. You’re special, I just keep on saying it…”

“exactly!” I jumped up and yelled. “but you’re the only one who does! There is nothing fucking special about me!!!”

“Joan, may I remind you of the fact that you’re screaming at a teacher?”

“I don’t bloody care!” I still yelled, but went sitting down. “I miss him” I then added softer.

“I can sure see that. The thing is Joan, you indeed made me doubt as well, but I need you to be real careful! I’ve noticed he isn’t to happy think it’s his choice?”

“I’m sorry professor, but I’d rather not think of that..”

“ok, I can understand that...but about what you just said. I think I’m the only one who keeps telling you that because you’re special in a way a lot of people don’t see, but me.”

“excuse me?”

“you’re exactly like me, Joan.”

“no offence, sir, but I think not”

“haha, think about it, you are” he winked and then stood up to let me out.


“just think of it.” and so I went back off to the common room, thinking, not wanting to compare.


-She was like the water that freezes inside a rock and breaks it apart. It was no more her fault than it is the fault of the water when the rock shatters.
-May the sun rise in you heart and you spirit run free.
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23. What to happen next.
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