5. Finally

Finally

In the evening Molly came sitting next to me and laid her hand on my leg. I startled which was normal since I’d been watching the dogs. “Joan” she said. “Would you like to spent the night here? It’s late and you look tired.” Without any straight thinking I nodded. A little later she brought me a cup of tea and I smiled at her, for some reason it seemed as if every second I spent in that house glued a little piece of Joan back on the right place. Ginny came sitting next to me and Harry settled next her, while on my other hand sat Hermione and at her other side sat Ron. Lee and the twins sat on the other coach and the adults sat at the table. A little later I said a general goodnight at which Fred stood up. He turned red, he sat back down and didn’t look at me anymore. I smiled and turned upstairs. The next morning I woke early, but stayed in bed. I realized how many people were in the burrow. Harry and Ginny shared her room, as did Ron and Hermione. Fred and George had their old room, Lee had Charlie’s and I had Bill’s, in the room also laid my three dogs.
A bit later I decided to get up, I got dressed and opened the door. But instead of going downstairs, I opened the door a bit further down the hall. I went inside and closed the door again. The room was dark and quiet, apart from breathing. In spite of the dark I could see their faces and I walked to Freds bed. I kneeled next to it and stared at his face. Fred, my friend, my wall to pull up against and to hold me up my feeth, my garder, protecter, saver.
As if he felt my watching or even my presence I saw his eyes blinking, he was waking…A second of doubt, but the wish to jump up and run out of the room as soon as he whispered my name: “Joan?”
“hi” I no whispered.
“What’s wrong?” I smiled “nothing” he looked a little confused and now I did get up and went downstairs. A little later the twins came down to, Fred clearly wanting, but not daring to ask. A few days passed and in these few days my friends somehow managed to ‘heal’ me. I’d been broken for years, but now after a few days I was much nearer to the old Joan. I was able to laugh at Fred and Georges jokes, able to discus with Hermione, I was healing. Nobody ever mentioned Draco, it isn’t the case that I wanted to forget him, but I liked to keep him to my own. Most of these people never liked him, it wouldn’t be fair if they were asked to grieve along. After a week Ginny, Harry, Hermione and Ron made me promise they’d see me soon and left home. Lee also went home, he apparently had a new girlfriend waiting for him. “The shop should open again soon” George said, “but I’m happy and hat makes I’ve got lots of ideas…”
“ditto” Fred grinned.
“I should go home to”
“Joan..”
“no worries, mate, you’ll see me soon enough!” They smiled and hugged me, of which I made no problem anymore. I said goodbyes to Molly and Arthur and grabbed Mayjin and Garners fur, ploke sat between my legs and I carefully held him between my knees as I aparated.

Coming back home was somehow strange, but it felt good to. “Maybe you’ll talk to me again now, huh Draco?” But he didn’t. In the following days I cleaned the house talking to him, asking al sorts of thing, but even the question: “do you still love me as much as I love you?” didn’t get an answer. It broke me that he didn’t, but I somehow knew he did wanted me to go to my friends again, maybe he has for filled his task and moved on, I thought. Who’ll tell? At the end of the week, Snape came by, asking me the permission to give my address to my friends, which I agreed on.
And so a few days later the twins stood at my doorstep. “Waw, no wonder you want to come back here.” George said truthfully. I showed them the ‘yard’ which was more of a grass field with one hill and beneath that hill a rather large lake.
The told me about their shop and how the new items flow was a big success all over the world. Lee and his girlfriend apparently announced they were moving in together. “When do I get to see her?” I grinned. Fred and George looked at each other. “We don’t really know her..”
“I was joking.”
“oh” I knew that they doubted the sincerity of Lee’s girlfriend. She’d probably tell the world and though I was better I couldn’t cope with the entire world asking me questions. “But..doesn’t she know…Lee’s”
“Nah, He’s not stupid, he loves her, but he’s not stupid enough for that..”
“we thought him well!” I laughed along with them and that evening they left. The next morning I played with the dogs, it was a beautiful day. I startled when the three dog suddenly stopped and looked back. I saw Harry and Ron and could only guess Hermione and Ginny walked behind them. I greeted them and let them n. The were also pretty impressed. “rather close to the village though, how did you hide here?” I was looking at my cup of coffee and only my eyes, rather then my whole face turned at Hermione. She’d turned red, knowing what kind of question she’d asked. I knew she wouldn’t want an answer, so I didn’t answer it.
The following days were a little calmer again, which was good cause I wasn’t used of so busy days anymore. I got a letter from Fred though.

Hi Joan,
I know talking might still bother you a little and if it doesn’t, then I know I does to me. I want to tell you how much I enjoy you’re around again. I really missed you.

xxFred

I smiled and wrote an answer, giving it to the same owl that had brought me the letter.

Hi Fred,
I know you did, I liked seeing you all to, but I need to ease a little now, it’s been busy weeks, but I’d really like to see the shop soon, if you guys don’t mind…
X Joan

Soon followed a note then almost screamed the joy out and a week later I went to the burrow, greeting Molly and Arthur. From there I stepped in the fireplace, because aparating to the busiest and most famous street of the wizarding world didn’t seem so appealing yet. “Joan!”
“hi guys”
“welcome!”
“hihi”
They showed me their house, it was a rather big house. “How many people live here?”
“just us” They both turned a little red. “but you never know, right? We like to be able to house a lot of people.” I smiled. “home habit?”
“yeah, can call it like that.”
“we closed the shop for today, would you like to see it?”
“duh!” They smiled and guided me to the other side of the house. They opened a rather heavy black door and we walked into what appeared to be a small office. There was a desk and there were papers against the wall. We walked through and George held a green curtain a side, revealing the shop. I walked through and stepped in the shop, I was stunned. It was the biggest, most colorful shop I’d ever seen. As we walked through I recognized some of the ld stuff, but lots and lots of new and overwhelming things. “damn” I whispered. And the twins smiled. A bit later we went back in the house. George made coffee in the kitchen and Fred guided me to the living room. “you know you can always stay, bedrooms enough” he smiled. “the dogs Fred”
“like he said, rooms enough, they can stay too, we even have a backyard!”
“not as big as your ’domain’ though” I smiled and they walked me through their veranda and showed their garden. “big enough for three dogs?”
“we can always enlarge it”
“thanks guys, but I’m fine.”
“uh ok”
“yeah, no problem.” We went back inside and drank coffee. And talked a lot too. As I went back home later I decided to visit my father too. And so I did a few days later, he was happier then I’d ever seen him. He was also glad to see Mayjin weirdly enough. And the weeks that followed I had visitors every day, since Snape still visited me, clearly happy that I was all better. For Arthurs Birthday a few weeks later everyone was invited to the burrow. Harry and Ginny and Hermione and Ron brought their children along. The burrow was so full of people, but it still was cozy. Molly had ‘invited’ the dogs to and I’d brought them. “Ron, it’s half past then! The children…”
“yes, Hermione, Mom, we need to go, it’s past bedtime for the kids.” Molly nodded.
“Same goes for us, actually.” Ginny said. They told everyone goodbyes and left. Lee also left, “I told her I was visiting you guys, ok?” he said to the twins.
“Lee..”
“yeah?”
“you shouldn’t risk your relationship with her.”
“sorry?”
“tell her.”
“But I know, she’ll…”
“She doesn’t know where I live then, does she?” Lee smiled: “thanks”
I nodded and he left a little later. “You know that’s brave and all, but are you..”
“yes”
“ok”
I remembered myself of the fact that this sweet guy had once committed to be n love with me. The beauty of him was that he respected my love and grieve for Draco.
“Mom, can we stay over here?” George asked at half past two. “At home the shop opens at nine.” Molly nodded and then continued. “You should stay to, Joan”
“hmm?”
“you look so tired, I’ll make a bed.” I smiled and thanked her. At three everyone got to bed. I slept till eleven and then got dressed. I got out of the room and knocked on the twins door, at least, I wanted to, but George already opened it. “ow hi”
“hehe, ok that’s weird.”
“yeah…Maybe you should try to wake Fred, I think he laid awake for a long time yesterday.”
“ow uh ok.” He smiled and kissed my forehead. At which I smiled, then he went downstairs. I walked in the room, it was light cause George had opened the curtains. “Fred?” my voice was enough for him to open his eyes, “what’s wrong.”
“nothing” I smiled and went sitting on the bed. I smiled realizing how much I meant to him. I looked him in his eyes, which looked back into mine, wondering. “Fred..”
“what?” I smiled, and stroke his cheek. He sat up, “Joan?”
“ I can’t possibly explain exactly how much you mean to me Fred.”
I was silent for a long while. “I once tried”
“I remember…But I find it more difficult then that.” I knew he understood, but was also afraid to ask or to talk about it. So I did something I myself didn’t foresee, or couldn’t explain or understand. I threw my arms round his neck and kissed him. He startled at first, but then threw his arms round me holding me tight. I was seeking for the love and he finally found it. I put my head on his chest and cried, out of guilt? Out of regrets? I didn’t know why I cried, I didn’t know why I did what. He held me in his arms, understanding? Where on earth would you find a guy, caring sow much? He actually deserved better, but I knew he only had this care for one person in the entire world. “So what happens now?”
“I need to go on I guess, but it’s so…it feels so..”
“I know, I know, but I think, for the little I knew him, he’d want you to live, to be some sort of happy, years no you’ve done nothing but that. And I realize that your love will never end…ever, but your love should be positive, it should be dragging you down.”
“that’ so true” I smiled. “I need to sort things out now..”
He swallowed and nodded I knew this was killing him, but I couldn’t just throw myself into things like this. At breakfast he watched me, but my thoughts weren’t there. For not wanting to throw myself into something I rather quickly decided, I thought later on. Because as soon as we had cleaned the table and Fred and George sat in the coach, I bent over and kissed his cheek, he startled and looked at my smiling face. He too now smiled and stood up, throwing his arms around me, kissing me, happy.. Nobody seemed shocked or seemed to think I betrayed Draco, they were more somehow relieved that it finally happened. So a few days later most of my stuff moved to the twins house, but I was keeping my house too, holding Draco’s cloak, letters…
Lee had apparently underestimated his girlfriend, because even after meeting me, the news wasn’t spread. And even though I sometimes helped in the shop, nobody seemed to notice. Living together with Fred and George was probably one of the best thing that could have happened to me. George, on an evening Fred was busy cleaning the shop, told me how extremely happy he was that we were together. “I’ve had lots of girlfriends over the years”, he said. “Somehow they all want money or something, you never find a girl that actually likes you, yeah sure they all laugh at your jokes, but therefore they’re not in love with you as a person, you know? But okay, I was saying, Fred didn’t bring one girl home, not one, in all the time we’ve known you, he didn’t date a girl, not once. And before we knew you he was the most popular one, you know. It stayed like that, somehow he attracts women more, but not once. Therefore I’m truly happy.” I smiled “waw, George…”
“yeah well"
“ so now we need to find you a woman then?”
He smiled. “Hell no!”